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Now that I have made not only the decision, but actually effort to be healthier, I have noticed that I kinda feel like I need to do certain things. That I have to not eat certain things because it is part of the current trend of being healthy.

Don’t have any meat! No dairy! No fish! Don’t use white flour!

peanut flour

Peanut Flour

Am I the only one that feels like this?

I can’t live off just kale  . . . I don’t even like kale, unless it is with lot of other vegetables, seasoning and sometimes peanut butter. And I can’t give up meat! Cut it down a bit  . . . yes, but out of my life completely  . . . nope, no can do, not even going to try.

kale

Kale

But then I thought, why I feel so pressured to do this? Even though I really don’t want to.

Also the amount of money that I am spending now. I don’t mind spending it on fruit and vegetables, those I can easily shop around and get for a cheap price, especially when it is in season. But the ingredients that I never even heard of or be able to pronounce. And how many super foods are there that are demanded in all these recipes books and on those popular blogs and (my beloved) Pintrest?

For examples, the amount of recipes that I have seem for Matcha Powder. They all look amazing, the green; so vibrant. I brought some, then later found out that Matcha Powder is mostly used a an alternative for people who drink or and want to cut down on have a healthier version to coffee  . . .  I don’t even drink coffee! Never have and never will . . . but I have added Matcha too my smoothies.

Fenugreek Seeds

Fenugreek Seeds

Matcha Powder

Matcha Powder

And do I really need to buy all these (very often) expensive cooking equipment? It is really needed to make something that is meant to be so simple to cook?

Is being healthy meant to put me into debt? My credit card is already annoyed at my going on holiday for my birthday  . . . and again this month. And don’t let me not even go into detail about how the sales have been bugging me to spend  . . . spoiler alert  . . .  the sales won. My credit card is straight up angry with me.

Also, I am running out of space in my kitchen, to buy more equipment . . . where would I even put them? But that doesn’t stop me from desperately wanting a Vitamix blender  . . . it is even on my amazon wish list, just in case one of my friends or family win the lottery and feel like spoiling me. Oh the super smooth nut butters I could make  . . . the ice cream; that would have of cause been healthy, the money I would save on almond flour rather than buying it in a health food shop. I have serious plans for that Vitamix!  Pity is cost over £399 . . . for a blender, and this is the cheaper version!

Vitamix Blender

Vitamix Blender

It’s like it has become an addiction. My poor little (not so little really) book shelf is being filled with cook books! I can’t stop buying them. There is more healthy cook books than any other books on my shelf (I wont mention the amount of dvd’s I have on the same “little” shelf either . . . just too embarrassing).

This was taken at the start of the year  . . . it's bigger now

This was taken at the start of the year . . . it’s bigger now

But why do I feel like I have to spend all my money on this pursuit of healthiness?

I will be happier when am healthier  . . . but do I have to be broke at the same time? What is the point of getting to a healthy size, when I don’t have any money to buy new clothes?

Spirulina Powder

Spirulina Powder

For now . . .  I won’t spend anymore money on cooking equipment or  . . .  and it pains me to say this  . . .  cook books. I will have to spend money of the essentials like fruit and veg. But none of this fancy ingredients that I will only use once then leave to go way past it used by dates  . . .  I have totally done this *hangs head in shame* more than once.

But I refuse to go broke for health.